We're back from vacation and the yard is begging me to help cure it of weeds and I have been out two days now and have to drag myself back in because I don't want to over do it physically. So with tired shoulders and sore buttox muscles I'm reluctantly writing this blog but would rather be outside in the wonderful sun shiny day.
Tuesday I went to the Oncologist and he informed me that I would need to start chemo again since my counts have been steadily going up and lately going up a lot. (This was no surprise. He let me go on vacation and told me we would start things again when I got back.)
I't's just strange what your mind does. I knew I would have to resume chemo again, but now I'm all in a funk because it's actually happening. Logically I know that this medicine works. It gets rid of the cancer cells, but I am grieving for a life I wish I had, free of cancer. Every time I have to start this process again I get depressed, then annoyed, then angry, then sad, then mad. There I went through all those emotions. Now hopefully I can get on with life as I know it.
Life as I know it ................. Infusions Tuesdays and Fridays every week until the doctor says the those little buggers are gone!
Time Frame........................ I don't know. The last time it took four months.
7 comments:
This is Dana. (The firsst one was really wonderful written.) I just finished looking at all your blogs and except for the first one I so enjoyed seeing and hearing about your family and their life. How lucky you are to have such a lovely family. I'm so sorry you have to go through everything again for the cancer. Life sure doesn't seem fair at times does it. Yet, you are so positive and such an inspriation to all of us. It seems stange to say, but the Lord must really be proud of you and love you a great deal. Maybe a real great mirical will happen this time.
I have been thinking about you a lot and hoping that you will get to go to Jinan when you go to China. The place that you would go to is this great hotel that they are remodeling this summer. The wife doesn't have to have a degree and you get to teach govenment officals. It it is also close to the best Chinese medicine hospital in Shandong Provence not far from your campus. I have gone there a couple of times. So I am going ask the Lord to make it so you can come and have this wonderful missionary adventure. Lots of love, Dama
Oh Julie!! I had no idea that you had to do Chemo again!! We'll be praying for you! Love you!
Julie, my heart goes out to you. I would be tired and angry and sick of it all myself. I don't blame you one bit for wanting a cancer-free life. Who wouldn't?! You have to know, I see you with all the grace and poise you have, and admire you totally.Can I help in any way?? Hugs and Love, Lorraine
Dear Sister, You have gone through so much already fighting cancer over the years. We are prying for you too.We love you,and hope for your best. Bev and Ron
Julie...our prayers are also with you, that the medicine will do its thing and that it won't take long! Hope you find comfort in knowing that so many people love you and hope you find joy in each sunny day! even the rainy ones! We love you, Dennis & Marianne:)
Stupid Cancer!!!
I am so sorry, this is so yucky and unfair. Keep us posted on how you are. You are in my prayers, love you!
Dad always told us that life wasn't fair. I hated when he told us that when we were kids, but he was so right. But think of all the prayers being said on your behalf - so many people that love you and our family are sending up pleas to Heavenly Father. I know it's tough. I gave a talk on Sunday from Pres. Uchtdorf's address for the YW Broadcast. It's so good and may give you some new insight on things - you should definitely read it. Love Chelle
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