Sunday, December 7, 2008

A New Day

Michelle's blog has all the information about what the family has been going through since Thanksgiving Day.

The funeral was yesterday for Heather Marchant. The funeral home made a DVD of her life through pictures. I was taken with the idea as I watched it that it will be so valuable later in life for Colin, Owen and Adyson. They can watch it as teenagers and know their mother better.

Betty and Darcie and Quinn and Jewel came up on Thursday night and will go home to day, Sunday. They stayed with us and we had an enjoyable time visiting. Frank's sister, Linda and husband Dan, and Frank's brother Jared came also. From his brother Glen's family, Yvette, Jeff, Brad, Alicia and Mitch. It was nice to feel that outpouring of support and to see them all again.

Eric wanted to speak to let those attending know what Heather was really like. He talked about how she would always be giving to others, doing hair for Homecomings and Proms and hair for family members, asking for nothing in return. She never let on to anyone that she was in pain. When she would come home she would be in so much back pain she would almost be in tears.
During the private family viewing he took each child in to see their mother. He told them they could tell her anything. Camron (13 yrs) said "Thanks for a great childhood Mom." Quite impressive and thoughtful for a thirteen year old. Eric had prepared a written talk but instead talked from the heart because he "wanted to see the faces of those who loved Heather." He said he knew he would see her again because of the temple sealing that unites them for eternity. You all would have been very proud of how strong he was to talk at his own wife's funeral.
Michelle, Kali, David, Brent and I sang the same song that was sung at our Jenny's funeral 20 years ago, "Flying Free." The words talked about how life is not without pain, but if we can rise above it and fly free and peaceful like the bird up in the air we can be happy despite it all.

The Relief Societies from three wards helped with the food. I estimate that there were over 65 family and friends at the luncheon. There was so much food that Eric was able to take home leftovers. For a long haul planning session the ward has called a meeting with family and ward members. We will plan who will go into the home and when so that Eric can get back to work. Meals will continue to still be brought into the home. Santa Claus has already said he is coming to their home.

David flew in from Utah late Wednesday night and Eric is taking him back to the airport at seven this morning. David stayed the whole time at Eric's to give him support and encouragement. Thank you David for coming when we most needed you!

Our emotions are raw and unraveling. We are exhausted and trying to recover physically from the last weeks events. We all know that Heather is free from her chronic back pain and that she is happy and at peace. It's those of us left behind that must suffer the great loss of a wonderful mother and daughter-in-law. I don't know where our emotions would be at this point if we didn't have the knowledge that Heather will live again.

We are going over today at 10 am to help dress the kids and attend church with the family at 11 am.

Please include our family in your prayers over the next few months.

1 comment:

Dana Wartena Thelin said...

When Tammy died I went on the internet to find the 6 steps of grieving. Of course there were some wonderful things written. I think the one that I needed to hear was that grieving comes in waves. That it comes and goes and with time the waves become farther and a part. They occur at the strangest times and without warning. You go with them and then like riding a wave into shore. How lucky you were to have shared those last few days with Heather. The Lord really blessed you with something that will be with you till you see her again. As with Tammy you have probably been blessed with the gift of the Holy Ghost as a comforter. That is what I have been most grateful for and for the knowledge given to us through the spirit that this was Tammy's time to go home. That this was as long as she needed to be on earth and that whatever she had to work out she would do it in Heaven. It was really special because Tiffany had that same experience. Are prayers have been with you. I think more and more love ones are speaking at the funeral. I expect my children to do that, we had everyone speak at Tammy's. It helps with the grieving process. I think it is part of what helps with closure, and closure is so important. It makes it so that you can enjoy the rest of your life here on earth. I really belief that is what the Lord wants for us.
With love, Dana